Whole 30: On the Cheap (2024)

May 26 2016

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SO…Whole 30. That thing everyone’s doing. You want to know what I think? Grab yourself a cup of coffee with (compliant almond coconut) milk and read on. Warning: It’s long. And I cuss.

I’ve been following the Whole 30 bandwagon from afar for the past year or so, eating mostly Whole 30-ish meals but not really going 100%…until a month ago when my husband (FINALLY) agreed to do one with me. He always claimed it was “too hard” to do a real Whole 30 while going to work. That was until the infamous Nuggets and Nachos night of 2016.

Dinner time, and he’s ravenous as usual because he doesn’t eat a real breakfast or lunch, or if he does eat lunch it’s whatever is left over in the school cafeteria (did I mention we’re cheap?) So, he demolishes a giant plate of chicken nuggets. Then, still starving, he makes himself a HUGE plate of nachos. I mildly suggest that maybe it isn’t the best idea to eat two giant plates of sh*t right before bedtime, but ravenous husband does not listen.

The next morning he agrees to start a Whole 30 with me. I’ll let you guess why.

Because I do all things cheap, I thought I’d put together a list of the things that we bought, made, and did that helped our Whole 30 to not break the bank.

BUY

TRADER JOE’S

You’re gonna want to go to Trader Joe’s right off the bat. The things that we got there became staples during our 30 days. Here’s the list:

• Dry Roasted Unsalted Hazelnuts-You’re going to freaking eat these things like candy. (Within moderation, of course. Whole 30 official rules want you to limit nuts and seeds, which makes sense.) If you like Nutella (and seriously, who doesn’t like Nutella?) these are the trick-yourself version. They are $7.99 a bag (ouch) but we only bought two bags the whole time. Just get them. Trust me.
• Plantain Chips– You might not like Plantain Chips the first time you eat them. That’s OK, give yourself a few days of nothing salty or crunchy and then you’ll think they are the BEST.THING.EVER.
• Salsa Verde. This sh*t is the bomb. Use it as a salad dressing. Pour it over a sweet potato. Eat it on carnitas. Dip your beloved Plantain Chips in it. There are quite a few compliant salsas at Trader Joe’s. Check the labels and go to town.
• Sweet Potatoes– Trader Joe’s sells a big bag of sweet potatoes for a pretty good price. Sweet potatoes are now your new best friend. You’re going to bake them, fry them, make them into fries, shred them, turnthem into “oats” (stay tuned) and generally use them every time you want a piece of damn bread.
• Spices– Spices like Cumin, Garlic Powder, Chili Powder, and Paprika are dirt cheap at Trader Joe’s.
• Ghee– Ghee is amazing stuff. It tastes way too rich, creamy and decadent to be Whole 30. JUST don’t let it get hot in your cabinet and separate and then try to cook eggs in it and almost vomit on your kitchen floor because it’s turned and smells awful. Just don’t. (Now you don’t want to buy Ghee, do you? Sorry. Buy it anyway.)
• Spinach– How is the Spinach at Trader Joe’s so cheap? It’s a giant resealable bag for like $1.99. Throw that sh*t in a frittata, stat.
• Frozen Fruit– Trader Joe’s has great prices on frozen mango and pineapple (my tropical frozen fruits of choice).
• Organic Unsweetened Flake Coconut– This little bag holds lot of yummy goodness. It’s not sweet like you’d imagine coconut, but it’s great to add for texture to Chia Bowls or Sweet Potat-oats (don’t worry I’m going to tell you about those, too)
• Himalayan Salt: This is 100 times better than regular salt. Trust. Plus it’s pink so you’ll feel fancy using it.
• Coconut Oil– You’ll use a bunch of this. Buy 2.
• Squash– If it’s squash season during your Whole 30, count your lucky stars. (Spaghetti Squash and Butternut will get you a long way). Trader Joe’s sells squash by the item, not per pound, which is a great deal. Stock up.

GROCERY OUTLET

If you live in the West you may be lucky enough have a Grocery Outlet near by. If you don’t, head to your nearest discount market. Yes, these places have things that are near expiration, but they also have things that didn’t sell well in the “real” Grocery Store, like fancy weird diet food. YES.

• Meat-This is where we scored Aidell’s Sausage for $1.99 a package. Yes, you read that right. Aidell’s are Whole 30 gold, coveted for what they lack (the crap that all other sausage has). A package runs $4.99 at Wal Mart so that gives you and idea of how great a deal this was. It was also where we found Paleo bacon for $1.97. It tasted like sh*t. So win some, lose some.
• Chia Seeds– Chia seeds are not cheap…unless you get them at a discount grocer. I bought a container at Grocery Outlet for $1.99, and the same size container was $9.99 at Wal Mart. Maths.
• Coconut Chips– Roasted goodness. These were the C2O brand Baked Sweet and Salty Coconut Chips. They were $.79 a bag. I may have bought 8 bags. There are other brands, too, but they were 99 cents. Savin’ money, yo. These really helped when I was craving something sweet.
• Dates– We got a HUGE container of dates for $5.99. Dates are like Whole 30 candy. I’m not a fruit person and never thought I’d like dates, but damn if you don’t fall in love with them when you can’t eat cake.

REGULAR STORE AKA FULL PRICE PLACE YIKES

• Kombucha. Get this one. It will save you from red wine cravings. It really is divine. If it’s on sale, stock up. I had the mango flavor and it didn’t cure the boozecraving like this one.
• Califia Farms Coconut Almond MilkThis stuff is compliant and actually tastes pretty darn good. I must have milk in my morning coffee and this saved me. I think I went through 6 containers of this during the 30 days between coffee, chia bowls, and sweet pota-oats.

MAKE

• Carnitas– I tried to find a recipe but can’t locate one that is close to what I did, so you get a terrible recipe writer’s version:In your crockpot, put a big hunk of pork shoulder. Pour over it: About a chucka chucka each of Cumin, Oregano, Salt, Pepper, Cinnamon, Onion powder and Garlic powder and a little Chili powder. Douse in lime juice. Cook on low for 4-6 hours. Shred. THEN-and this is key-get some coconut oil hot in a skillet, pour all those spices in again, saute them up for a second, then crisp the heck out of that meat. Squeeze a lime over it while it’s cooking. It’s the second time through the spices that does it. (Plus it gets the meat nice and crispy). These are great to make on a Sunday and eat all week. EDITED TO ADD–Well hello all you party people who want to make carnitas! A chucka chucka is about 1-2 tablespoons. There ya go.Make a carnitas salad like this and top it with…

• Amazing Avocado Sauce: I can’t count how many times we made this. It’s just as the title says: AMAZING. We added the juice of half a lime and it really made it pop. Make it. Then make it again. Then thank me.
• Sweet Potat”oats”Don’t make my mistake and start making these on day 23. Start on day 1. If you’re craving warm, sweet breakfast food, this will be a lifesaver. I top mine with either almond butter, hazelnuts & unsweetened coconut, or a poached egg with Himalayan salt. (Throw a little salt in before you cook them, too, I don’t think the recipe calls for that) Down there I topped it with Paleo bacon and an egg.

• Roasted Carrots with Thyme– Another one we didn’t make until the end. Peel carrots, drizzle with olive oil, sprinkle with sliced onions, thyme, salt and pepper. Roast until done. (your oven is different than mine, you figure it out).

• Plantains-OMG plantains are delish. Get the extra ripe ones (they are only $.68 at Wal Mart). Slice about 1/4 inch thick, roast in a cast iron skillet with coconut oil about 2 minutes per side, set aside on a paper towel to get de-greased, then top with lime juice and salt. Eat in your carnitas salad. Feel really, really full.
• Chia Bowls– Morning life saver. Put a couple of tablespoons of chia seeds in a bowl that has a lid. Pour about 1/3 a cup of almond milk over them. Add a little frozen fruit of your choice and a few chopped up dates if you wish. Leave in the fridge overnight. Eat for breakfast topped with almond butter, coconut, and nuts. YUM.
• Mayo– DO NOT BELIEVE THE BULLsh*t CLAIMS THAT MAKING THIS IS EASY. You’ll no doubt find countless Pinterest pins claiming how “quick” it is to make your own mayo. Not until you’re covered in oil that’s burst from your blender onto your face and have wasted 7 eggs will you believe it is NOT EASY. Try anyway. Homemade mayo is delicious and really versatile. Just be prepared to be pissed off.

DO

• Download the Whole 30 timelinethat describes the month day by day. Then make yourself a countdown calendar for your fridge and write the phases on that calendar. That way on day 10, when you want to kill EVERYTHING and EVERYONE, you can look at your handy dandy calendar and still hate life, but with the knowledge that you’re supposed to at that point. This is what ours looked like:
• Don’t beat yourself up. There were quite a few times I was accidentally non-compliant. On Mother’s Day I was allowed to sleep in til, wait for it…7:10 in the morning! Groggy, I added regular milk to my coffee. And drank it. And immediately got a stomach ache. The Whole 30 Nazis would have me start all over, but F that. And on my kid’s 5th birthday I ate 3 bites of cake. Because if you spend 7 hours making a cake version of the Titanic sinking, you’re gonna want some damn cake.

• Be prepared for weirdness. I manage some wicked depression/anxiety with the help of a combination of herbs and supplements I’ve perfected over the last 2 years. I did not expect for Whole 30 to set off my delicate balance, but it did. It took until about day 23 for me to feel “me”. It was worth it in the long run, thankfully.
• Have someone to complain to. I started my Whole 30 right as my brother and good friend were finishing theirs. I can’t even tell you how awesome it was to have someone to compare notes with who’d already been there. “I feel like sh*t today.” “Yeah, I felt like sh*t that day, too”. (That’s my brother talking, not my friend. She’s too proper and sweet and I’d never say “sh*t” to her). They were also total role models because my brother lost 15 lbs and my friend lost 12. Even so…
• Don’t get discouraged if you don’t lose a lot of weight. I didn’t. I think I lost about 4 lbs, if that. I slimmed up in my love handle area though, so that’s always nice. Here’s to less muffin top! My husband lost substantially more. (We are cheap and don’t have a scale, so we don’t know how much for sure). He looks younger and healthier if you ask me. And my opinion is the only one that matters because I have to live with him. Ha.

Is it worth it?

I was a pretty healthy eater before Whole 30, but the experience changed the way I thought and felt about food in ways that surprised me. Before, I was always battling the night time snack monster (the one usually brought on by a beer or glass of wine). This snack inevitably involved sugar or carbs of some sort. As much as I wanted to avoid this time of night, it usually just didn’t happen. Whole 30 forcedme to form habits…really good, non sugary carby craptastic habits. I now have an arsenal of healthy things to reach for and a far better relationship with my meals. If you’re doing it right, you’ll always feel full on Whole 30. Not in a bad way, but a really healthy, I’m eating tons of good food way.

Another benefit? I feel much more informed about the food I put into my body. Whole 30 forces you to read labels, and I don’t see that changing just because the 30 days are over (see: habits). If you’re anything like me, you’ll be incensed by the amount of sugar and sh*t that American food companies sneak into things that are supposed to be healthy. It’s unreal. My morning Quest bar on the way to drop kids off for school is definitely not something I’ll be going back to.

So overall, yes, Whole 30 is totally worth it. Two days after we’ve finished, I have yet to have a non-compliant meal. I expected to crave cheeseburgers and beer in an insane way, but I just don’t. And for a girl who always craves cheeseburgers and beer, that’s pretty darn amazing. It’s a little pricey (even on the cheap, foofoo almond milk isn’t a frugal buy) but just think of the money you’re saving on craft beer and fine wine!

And now, I’m off to have a damn drink and eat some bread. Peace.